i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
