I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We are all done wearing pants today
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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