My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
