no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The air taste purple.
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