If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
