apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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