Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
