I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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