Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
