(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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