I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
