Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize