I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he thought i was a dude.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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