How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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