Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
jump out the window naked night went bad
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