Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
