shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
