Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
