and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
