what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Are we still banned from the library?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
