take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
