just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
