You just made me feel so damn special
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
