so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize