I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
