does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
