At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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