I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
