you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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