you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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