The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
