he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
