my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
