Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
