In the future we'll all be gay
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
