YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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