I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
