I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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