Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
