1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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