"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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