We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
