Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
