there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
