Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Randomize
