I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize