Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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