a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
