Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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