I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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