coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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