if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There r osticjed everywhere
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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