Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
