He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
