I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
